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Tuesday, December 30, 2014

be safe, zoe...

This QZ8501 was a real huge tragedy to Indonesia.... to Surabaya people....   
After one by one sad news since Sunday, today I got a shocked news from one of D's principal. She confirmed that one of QZ8501 passengers was Zoe, D's classmate. D's class in Prepper is not big. His friends are Stella, Caitlin, Rizky, Raj, Roshan, Siena, and Zoe. And as the class is not big, I know their parents quite well. Just last week the kids performed together in Christmas charity show - one of their school program. And that little girl, Zoe was there.... dancing together with D and their other little friends from Prepper class.

D, Raj, and Zoe in last Christmas performance rehearsal. My heart and prayer always be with you, cute little girl....

I was so shocked emotionally, because I know her quite well as D also meets her everyday at school. She travelled with her dad, the only Briton in that flight. I've never seen her dad before, but her mom and her grandparents are loving cheerful people.... and so as Zoe... What a tragedy....

I can't express how sorry and how sad I am.... As lot of friends, patients, people I know, also lost their relatives and beloved people. Hopefully there will be survivors as the rescue team now had found one by one deadbodies and wreckages in Karimata Sea. Still hope there will be a miracle. Still hope there will be miracle. Still hope there will be miracle.....

Or maybe they're just flying higher up there, in a very beautiful place named heaven....

That is why "have a safe flight"
"take care"
"I love you"
"please let me know when you've safely arrived"
means a lot.....
It could be your last goodbye

This is the most heart-breaking tragedy. My deep condolences for QZ8501, the passengers, and their beloved family....

Monday, December 29, 2014

have a safe flight, air asia QZ8501...

My thoughts and prayers go to all passengers onboard Air Asia QZ8501.....

I was terrified and cringed when one by one friends and patients told the story about their missing family, friends, relatives, beloved people who were on board yesterday.
The plane took off from my hometown, Surabaya, and it's a very very common route....  It's only Surabaya-Singapore.....
Plus, it's a good airline with good safety protocol.....
I travelled a lot with this QZ 8501, with also Capt. Iriyanto as a pilot.... This flight is so common.... I can be one of the passengers, or my relatives.... Oh dear God, how can it be.... how can it be....

Since last week, my patients had already talked about their holiday destination with their family. And Singapore was still the most favourite after Bali. I was looking for Surabaya-Singapore flight with Air Asia since I planned to take my parents for year end holiday surprise. I need 5 seats, but only 2 seats available at that time for 28th. And it was still October when I tried to book this flight. All 28-29-30 December's flight was not available. All was full booked. So I cancelled my Singapore trip and plan to visit my grandma instead.

What a tragic, it happened right in holiday season, when people plan to travel with their family for holiday. And Singapore is still the most favourite holiday destination for Surabaya people. It's very near, only 2 hrs flight, child and family friendly, and Air Asia is still a favourite airline. They normally take off at 7.30am, not as early as China Airlines 6am. And also not as pricey as Garuda Indonesia which has the same time schedule. But as I fly a lot with this airline, they sometime do reschedule. So maybe that's why the QZ8501 took off at 5.30am, not at 7.30am as usual...

Actually I couldn't sleep well the night before. I was widely awake until 3 or 4am. I read books, tried to sleep, worked with some of my patients' cases, tried to sleep again but still couldn't, watched tv, then I fell asleep for a while.... I wake up after a nightmare and I couldn't sleep again. I don't expect that I will get a sad news in the morning about Air Asia QZ8501. My heart bleed even more when I read the manifest list. Some people that I know.... Relatives of friends.... Relatives of patients..... May God always be with them, bless them, wherever they are. 
Dr. Jerry, my very good colleague from Singapore, and some of dentist colleagues abroad texted me right after the news spread on media. They immediately thought of me when the tragedy happened. Thanks Jerry and friends, you're so thoughtful, really.

That is why "HAVE A SAFE FLIGHT" mean so much. You might lost your loved one in just a moment....  Life is so fragile, isn't it?

Now, we only can hope for a miracle. Dear my friends and patients, my prayer always be with you and your missing relatives on board. May God always be with you and protect you. Amen.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

if you want to be, be !

Today, my little patient shared his hilarious dream with me :

"Doctor, I want to be a soccer player. A very professional soccer player"
Cute thing is, he is still 7 ! When I was 7, I wanna be a princess. Well.... just kidding. Actually, I wanna be a teacher. Why teacher ? Because another people were too mainstream. They wanna be doctors. And I won't follow the crowd. The crowd should follow me, hahaha...

"Wow, Hampton, it's so cool ! You don't wanna own a shipyard like mom ?"
His parents are the owner of one of the biggest shipyard in Indonesia. And normally, Chinese people will hope that one day, their children will inherit their business.

"No, I will let my brother to do the shipyard. I want to be like Messi and Christiano Ronaldo !!! They're very cool !!!"

"You will need to study very hard and practice more then ! I support you. One day, I can hang your picture in clinic, titled : Hampton - a professional soccer player, was here when he was 7 years old. Wow !!!"

He gave me his big and cute smile. I notice that kids nowadays, they are very smart. They speak english and chinese fluently. They can operate smartphone in a very fast way. And they know already what they wanna be in a real, serious way.

I started to think to become a dentist when I was 17. I spent my time since my first year in dental faculty, assisting my uncle in clinic, and started to carve hundred of teeth since then. Then it becomes my passion, my biggest passion. Until today. I serve one by one of my patients with lots of enthusiasm and passions. The biggest joy and pride is when they can smile happily with my service. It's priceless.... It's called happiness...

I feel blessed and lucky that I can have my hobby as my job. And even better, I can boss myself in my own clinic, I can do and decide whatever I want to keep this clinic move forward. I can take holiday just anytime I want. What can be better than this ?  So once I listened to my little patient, Hampton, I supported him to always chases his dream.

With a lot of passions inside, you can create beautiful magical things.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

basic tips for ladies

Dear ladies,

Be careful with your own dignity. Don't let any men flatter you with nice words, and nice compliments just to take advantages from you.

Men, not all of them are bad, but most of them are jerks.
You will be lucky if you can find one who isn't a jerk, who always stays by your side, who never leave you no matter happens, who is not telling you all the time to trust him -but he will prove himself that he's trustable, who is not telling you all the time to be a good girl and not dig in his past, who will not leave you in doubt, with a lot of questions in your mind that something's wrong is happening now.

I am not a man-expert, but I had met a biggest liar in this world, and through pain+sadness+tears+etc etc etc, I become a lie detector naturally.

Mostly, liars will be....

1. Talking about others' faults. Everytime it's never their fault, it's always others fault.
"My wife cheat on me....."
"She left me....."
"She never understand me...."
"She never cares to me...."

2. Very royal of compliments.
"You're the most beautiful woman I ever met, beautiful eyes, beautiful smile, bla...bla...bla..."
"I never feel a love like this before I met you"
"You're the most amazing woman I ever know ! Very smart, very passionate, bla...bla...bla..."
"Beautiful food. You always serve me the best !"

3. Very expert to make you fly up high in the sky.
"Don't worry baby, she's nothing compares to you"
"We can live very good, you don't need to work, you're my queen, I have a big house, car, bla.... bla... bla..."
"I miss you. So much. All the time."
"I want to know what's your favourite wedding ring."
*and send you flowers, or candies, or chocolates, or candle light dinner with no occassions* - please differentiate between being romantic and trying to invest to you so you can give him a good sex later.

4. Sometimes, you feel it difficult to contact him all the time.
"You know, I'm very busy. I will contact you later."
"I must work. A lot of things should be done."
but later on, you know that nothing's get done. So ? Yes, he's trying to get rid of you. To ? Maybe another girl ?

5. Good at manipulating your feeling.
"I'm sorry baby that I hurt you. It breaks my heart that I see you very sad...."
"Please don't be sad. I'm yours and only yours...."
Be careful if it had happened more than once.

6. He has no past. In the exact words : he will never tell you the truth about his past.
"Today is today. Tomorrow -we don't know. It's another day. So, don't bother with my past."
"I want to start a new life, find a new love."
"Never listen to others. Just trust me. Can you trust me ?"

7. You have a slight feeling that this man is too good to be true, but you just deny your feeling, and think that he loves you a lot.
WRONG. BIG MISTAKE. Trust your own gut and intuition. In the first sight, people will hide all of their flaws. But some people, they're just too good to hide their flaws.....forever.
And you will live in lie. Forever.

8. He starts to forget things.... Promises..... And told you some shits such as....
"I'm old. It's good that you are very young. With you, I feel safe and don't need to remember anything."
"Please remind me, brutally remind me. You're a very good reminder for me, baby."

9. He loves to punish people. Because he doesn't even feel that it's his fault.
"I won't talk to you, so you will learn something that one day you should listen to me."
"By this, you will learn something."

Indeed, a man who is truly loving you will tell you upfront about everything he doesn't like from you and still loving you - just the way you are. And man who is true, they will never forget their promises or their words. Women's big mistake is : they're too nice. Well, too nice is not a good thing. Too nice will not impress people. It means that you lowered your dignity and let others to take you for granted.

Once a man treat you like shit, just walk away. And never look back. I even never wonder how-why-when-what he's doing or so. I don't care, and I won't give myself any excuse.

It's simple. Difficult to do, but once you can burn all the memories or send him back all the stuffs, you will stand stronger. No jerks deserve every single teardrops from your beautiful eyes. Once you walk away and do your best, one day karma will do their job and if you're lucky, God will let you watch.

Friday, November 28, 2014

pain resistance

Last Saturday, I got my 4 first bicuspids extracted. In the same day. Done it in 30 minutes. I did it after I had done with patients. Seeing my 'insanity', my male colleagues asked me all the time : "Are you okay ?" "It's not only 1, but 4 !!!" "How do you feel after extraction ?" "Geez... if I were you, I think I will die. 4 extractions in a row !"

I can say that... women are stronger than men - when in pain. So yeah, I felt ok. No worry - even after the anesthetic effect had gone. This too will pass. And yes it's passed !

My very funny Greek patient, Mrs. G, told me that his husband can't stand on pain. At all.
"When he has a headache, he will act like the whole world is falling apart"

It's true, indeed. Haha !

I see in my clinic everyday, in general, female patients are more 'pain-resistance' than male patients. It's funny. Because men appeared strong to protect women. But admit it or not, maybe their strong appearance is 'just' an appearance. Indeed, they are the weakest creature in earth. Women can stay single and live independently in their own without men. AND if they have kids, they're still can survive for taking care of kids.

While men ? Well, I can say some of them will choose to seek for women to comfort and fill their own ego. They will feel safe when they have a woman  women who can comfort them with love and attention. Yes, women. Because it's in their blood that they need as much attentions as possible. From ? A lot of women. Oh, and they will not take care of kids. They love kids. But they won't take care of kids. For one or two days.... maybe they're still can deal with that. But forever ? Oh-hell-ooooooo..... Please don't leave me aloneeee.... I don't generalize. I know good men who are mature enough, but most of them are not.
They're simply animal, aren't they ?

Once my patient ever called me for an emergency. He said that his gum and teeth were IRRESISTIBLY painful. He can't eat and he thought he will die very soon because of that 

I -of course, imagined that the pain must be so awful. Can be a very acute periodontitis or pulpitis irreversible with spontaneous symptoms.

It turned out that it was JUST a 2mm x 2mm stomatitis. A very small lesion in his cheekside. Please let me repeat it : cheekside ! It's not even touch the gum.
See how men describe pain ???

Ironically, between men and women, they have huge difference in pain management.
Me as a woman, to get rid of pain, I always do this : acceptance. Aceept it. Then move on. This is how I manage pain and bitterness in my life.
Men ? They will try to get rid of the pain in the shortest and quickest way. As. Soon. As. Possible. Sometimes not by acceptance. But by creating another problem. It happens a lot in boys who trapped in men's body.

Therefore, no wonder if childish men will always try to find new girlfriends, wives, women, all the time. The more the better. While childish women choose to stay faithfully dumb and waiting for their only man whom they think that this man is one and only. The one who ONLY love them. The one who ONLY fight for them. And in the end, those pitiful women are the one who are working so hard in a relationship. Those pitiful women will not feel safe because they're afraid if their men will cheat on them which is actually happen, indeed ! Those pitiful women will always think that nobody can love their men better, except them. Those pitiful women will think that their men will be contented with their love ONLY. Those pitiful women will think that men will sacrifice for their women as equal as they sacrifice themselves for their men.


Men can't stand pain more than women. So they will do everything to eliminate and get rid of pain. No pain at all, if possible. This is the difference between boy and man in problem solving.
A childish one will selfishly thinking of themselves. As long as they're happy -other else who cares ? They always think for themselves first. Oh and they are good at blaming others.
Mature one will solve their problem wisely without creating another problem for others and will not hurt another human being.

While childish women feel the more they feel the pain, they should be sainted for their pain. And men should appreciate them for all of those pain. Or, at least understand. Or tolerate. Even naturally, women will resist more pain than men.
A weak women will show it, hope that their prince charming will come to rescue, beg for sorry and sympathy.
While strong women will not give any damn. They will manage to move on from their pain. And never look back.

How smart can you manage your pain ?

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

few memories from primespeak lecture

Meet my girlfriends from Singapore. Dedicated invisalign dentists from DP dental : Jolene, Pearlyn, and Fushi. We had a great time when we had OC course in Las Vegas too :)
Primespeak lecture was a wrap ! Met again with my awesome colleagues -platinum elite, platinum, and all dedicated invisalign dentists there. We had nice sharing and chitchat about cases and experiences. And nothing's better than having a good coffee with these good people. I had a great time in Singapore. And I heart all of you, friends !
With the magic of 'tongsis' a.k.a monopod, Dr. Berti took our nice-nice pic together. Here we are.... me, Dr. Bertina Djemat, Dr. Hilly Gayatri, Dr. Eugene Eu Loh Min, Dr. Michael Sernik, and my daddy Dr. Kenneth Lew. This picture was edited by Dr. Berti. Well done. It looked so cute. I mean, we looked so cute. Ahahaha...

Thank you Anne for being such a good personal assistant and arranged everything for me. One Farrer Hotel and Spa was really superb ! Worth my every seconds staying here since I spent most of my time in Singapore in this hotel due the tight schedule of lecture !!

A quality dinner with expert of TMD - Dr. Ade Amarhoseya, queen of invisalign - Dr. Hilly Gayatri, and passionist of endo - Dr. Farida. I can say that those women were inspiring ! Independent tiger women who work with passion and great spirit in dentistry. Meanwhile, dinner was a wrap ! The hairy crab, the sweet potato, the oyster omellette, the marinated jellyfish, the eggyolk spinach all was awesomely g-o-o-o-o-o-o-d !!!
But most of all, great friends and togetherness ! Indeed !

With Dr. Ade - one of my great inspiring colleague and friend. I heart your dedication and passionate in TMD and lecturing. Well, let see if we can make it together in future. Love you ! XOXO~

Finally I went to this skytree!! I was there last year but I didn't have any chance to see the lights at night. Now I'm going myself and also climb into the high bridge in top of the garden ! I'm glad I made it, yaaaay !!!!

A-sudden-pajamas-party ! Happy birthday dear Dr. Hilly Gayatri. Keep awesome and rocking in your career. Wish you all the best for years ahead ! XOXOXOXO

Have a nice day everyone !

Saturday, November 15, 2014

hello weekend

I am reviewing my slides this morning when maman called me that the postcards from Bali are well received !

I sent them when I was attending Japanese prosthodontic meeting earlier this month. I visited my grandma as well !!!! And this family reunion was awesome. I hopped on few beaches and of course I never get bored of walking along the sea.

Singapore is calling this week for Primespeak key opinion leader meeting. Can't wait for meeting my awesome colleagues there. Will see you soon, doctors ! And meet up with my girls after Primespeak lecture. XOXO... Can't wait for brunch chit-chatting with all of you, girls...

Just realize that I hadn't posted anything about Vegas course and my past lectures lately. I will definitely  post it during my spare time and will keep you in touch, readers.

Amazing view from Nikko hotel private beach

Thursday, November 13, 2014

getok tular

Boleh percaya boleh enggak, saya selalu yakin kalo pasien pertama hari itu adalah pasien penentu pasien-pasien berikutnya.

Kayak hari ini misalnya.

Pasien pertama diawali dengan kasus servikal berderet-deret. Sampe sekarang saya baru bisa mandeg, mata capek luar biasa karena pasien yang dateng kasus servikal semua. Pernah seharian saya ngegarap pasien anak-anak non stop. Dari pagi sampe malem, yang periksa anak-anak semua. Pernah juga seharian itu saya ngegarap kasus interdental dengan kavitas raksasa-raksasa dengan nomenklatur gigi yang sama.

Paling merinding kalo pas hari itu diawali dengan pasien bengkak. Bisa sampe tutup praktek, pasien bengkak kayak nggak kelar-kelar.
Ini getok tular ato apa ya ??

Jaman dulu waktu saya masih kuliah, kalo hari Senin udah apes pasien nggak dateng, ACC ngadat, bisa-bisa semingguan itu kerjaan klinik kayak nggak ada benernya. Dulu sih saya kira itu cuman sugesti. Tapi kalo dirasa-rasa, bener juga lho.

Nggak kok, saya nggak pengen balik S1 lagi. Cukup sudah cukuuuuuuppppppp.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

sneak in my chinese culture part 3 : those ultimate words

Not all Chinese do this, but since I was kid, I was being taught to always say these 4 ultimate words :

I'M SORRY, my or not even my fault. No excuses. 
EXCUSE ME, everytime you are being a guest into someone's house, or if you're invited to join a ride in someone's car. No excuses.
THANK YOU, period. Everytime. No matter they do good or bad things to you, ALWAYS say thank you. No excuses.
MAY I HELP YOU ? It's not a sugar-coated questions. I will help. With my very maximum efforts. Whether I like or dislike the person. No excuses.

And too bad, it's in my blood.  

If you are a Japanese, you will get familiar with this. Once we help people, we will help with maximum efforts until it's done. Believe-it-or-not, I get the same culture. Not in all part of China we have this 'totality-of-being-a doormat' kindness. It's a kind gesture, is it ??

And I should blame all estrogen hormon to create me and tradaaa.... I'm a woman. I involve my sensitive feeling into a relationship. Which will turn into a relationshit later for people who don't mean it. Or simply just take me for granted.

If you happen to know me quite well, you will see this in my daily life.

But oh, don't get scared,
I don't expect anything in return.
Even you take me for granted, I don't care either. It's in my blood anyway.

Thursday, November 06, 2014

why it hurts ?

I will give you several reasons for : why it hurts ?

It hurts because it matters. Well, yes it matters a lottle. It's like a little.... but it's lot !
It hurts because we care.
It hurts because we love.
It hurts because we sacrifice.
It hurts because we're only human.

In dentistry, to make everything painless, I can give an anesthetic. Therefore, you will feel only numbness and the pain will suddenly go away. The genious inventor of anesthetic should be sainted for this !

But not for human's feeling.....
And even for the strongest one, it will still hurt. Because it matters. While for the other side, it doesn't matter. Maybe....just maybe they had lost their humanity. Or, they're simply animals.

This I will tell you in my way how to make it less hurt.
Wear your best outfit, wipe your tears, put your smile, go to the beach, read good book, and love yourself more.
Or maybe you can sing a song. Play a song. Dance in rain. Live your dream. Work hard. Do bungee jumping. Cook. Sleep. And just don't care.

It's their lost, not yours. Don't let others sip away your happiness and enjoy your sorrows.
Enjoy yourself while it lasts !
And give yourself a blast !

Get out of your pain, leave all shits behind, and laugh more.
Nothing's good in taking care of assholes, you see ?

sometimes you have to get knocked down lower than you've ever been to stand up taller than you ever were. Remember that.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

hidden heaven in malang : kondang merak beach

This hidden heaven called Kondang Merak beach. Well... I am a beach hopper. I love sea and beaches. And honestly saying, it's the most beautiful beach I ever seen. All of these photos were taken by my cellphone camera with no filter. And I'm not a pro-photographer. Hahaha...

Not many tourists visited this beach. This beach was not as popular as Kuta beach or all beaches in Bali. But this one was awesomely beautiful -well, it's true. Laid in Hindia sea or Indonesian sea in south of Java island, the waves were big and very VERY beautiful. Definitely recommended for beach-lovers.

Amazing thing about this beach is.... you can see many beautiful rocks, corals, marine fishes, feel the fresh sea breeze in a beautiful beach which feel like a private beach because it was very quiet !! Lunch was awesome. One very big portion of octopus, and huge tuna skewers with unlimited rice for IDR 55k (it was less than USD 5).

To reach this beach, you will need A LOT OF EFFORTS !!! You can follow a direction to Balekambang beach, then you will see a very VERY small signboard written : Kondang Merak. And you will enjoy 4 km driving in a road full of rocks and stones. But the scenery was worth every journey. Glad I can make it !!!!

Kondang Merak beach. Quiet and beautiful

Building a sandcastle

Tres joli !

Beautiful corals
And the sea lays under my feet

Let me take a selfie !

Believe it or not, most of fishermen here are all christians

Huge plate of octopus !

Huge beautiful rock with sparkling sea
Follow me !
Sun, sand, sea !!!
Huge tuna skewers !!!

Friday, October 24, 2014

sneak in my chinese culture part 2 : be a doctor

A heart-touching thing about Chinese parents is.... they are willing to sacrifice everything for their children. Even they have even nothing. And it will continue until they die. It's true.

Chinese parents are so generous to their kids. And even more generous to their grandkids. If they come from average to rich family, they will fulfill every needs of their kids. Even providing a house for them when they're getting married. Well, as summary, they have worked hard when they're young and they don't want their kids to feel their oh-so-hard-life like theirs.
For low income family, they will work very hard to put their kids in a good school, even they're willing to sacrifice their best food for their kids.

I can say that my grandparents and parents had a very difficult life when they were young. My grandpa had nothing when he started his business in Indonesia. Until now our family company is getting bigger and stronger. It's clear, very clear in my parents' eyes that they don't want me to feel their hard-old-days. So, they forced  persuaded me to become a doctor. Oh, and for your information, for Chinese people, doctors (or dentists) are the most prestigious title-job-profession ever.
And I have a lot of doctors and dentists in my family. And we practice together in 1 big clinic-chain.

For my parents, and most of Chinese parents, their proud come when they have relatives (son/daughter/brother/sister/in law) whom are doctors. I must admit that this thing was absolutely NON-SENSE. But.... that's them. My dad always tells me that his decision to put his kids in dental faculty is because.... he didn't have any opportunity to get a higher education. My grandpa pushed him to help at work and he has to left school. He always tells me this :
"My beloved daughter, if you're becoming doctor or dentist, you don't need to work to other people. You can be your own boss with your own knowledge and skill. You won't depend on anyone to survive. I'm not a conglomerate who owns huge companies which I can give to you. But I hope you can survive with your brain and cold hands."
In one side, I must admit that he's right. At least I don't depend on anyone to survive. 

And because my family is a religiously Buddhist family, they always teach me not to harm anybody. ANYBODY. No excuse. Even you hate that people. Everytime they told me not to squeeze poor people when they come in my clinic. We help, wisely. Rumour said that Chinese people are stingy. No-no, they're not stingy at all to others. Yes, they're stingy for themselves. They won't buy luxury things for themselves even they can provide it. They prefer to keep it for next generation. Kids, grandkids, future. Well, not all.... But TRADITIONAL chinese family like mine, normally do this.

And first question that will pop up if you're going to introduce him or her to your parents : Is he/she a doctor ?

Or if you want to get their blessing with your new relationship, simply tell them : I'm dating a doctor.  

2 days off, yay ! :)

Bali and Singapore lectures both have confirmed today. Very proud and happy that I am being invited to Prime Speak Limited Invitation by Invisalign next month. Definitely will go and meet lotsa awesome colleagues there !!! Yay !!!!

I will take a break for 2 days since tomorrow is public holiday. Therefore, I will have a long weekend ! No work tomorrow ;) I will drive to the beach in Malang tonight after work and stay overnight to watch sunrise. There's a quite epic moment before I rent a room to stay. FYI, this beach is in a very VERY remote area in south Malang. No hotels, no cottages, so I will stay with local people. I called a number I got to get a right direction and of course.... to rent a room to stay.

And those villagers seemed UNFAMILIAR with tourits who booked a room in advance. While for me, I am a triple-check-planner. I have to plan everything in advance. Well, quite unbelieveable with their 'booking-system'. All of them were speaking in Javanese, so I spoke to them in Javanese as well.... And their booking confirmation is just : "Monggo mbak, langsung dateng." which means.... "Ok you can come."

They didn't even ask my name.... my address.... my phone number to re-confirm before the date. Ok, forget about the e-mail address. But at least, please ask me who I am and what's my number, guys.... How if you have prepared room and everything for me and I don't show up ??
I think, I should teach them strategy in business management.

But anyway....sun, sand, sea, here I come !!!! Woooooooohooooooo....

Thursday, October 23, 2014

sneak in my chinese culture part 1 : being nice to people

I was born in a very strong Chinese culture, which inside.... we respect our parents a lot, we are being expected to be nice to people, we love to ask : "Have you eaten yet ?" and "Don't forget to eat" or "Please eat something", we care to each other, we have monogamous marriage, we believe red means luck, we are keepers of everything, we pray to God and our ancestors, and  have I mentioned that we are being expected to be nice to people ? 

It happens in my family, when we are having a big family gathering, we always bring something to eat together. It's kind of potluck tradition in western countries. Then we have a good laugh and chit-chat with everybody. EVERYBODY. Your aunties, uncles, cousins, and all relatives whom they have a very special nickname depends on their relationship with parents. Yes, YES ! You can't call all of your aunties with "AUNTY" or uncles with "UNCLE" just like that. For your curiousity, you can watch this for details.

Seemed complicated. But it's fun to have this culture in my family. And I love them. I respect all of them. For sure I have my own life, but still I respect and until forever, my life will be completed with them. F*ck with other people who pursued me to leave them. Blood is thicker than anything, dude ! And no other woman who will love you more than your mom. And your parents, brothers, sisters, all relatives will always stand for you no matter how big the thunderstorm will come to you. I am blessed for having this (big big big) family.

Respecting others and being nice to people is also part of us. Well, at least in my family root. We always treat our guest like a king. We always serve them the best. Cook them good dishes or treat them in a nice restaurant. Make sure that they're enjoying their stay. Show them around or take them everywhere they want to visit. Oh yeah, and we will never let them pay. In my family, you will see this A LOT ! That during dinner or lunch treat, everybody will fight to pay.   
And it's true. It's in our blood. Sometimes our guests even don't feel nice with it. But hey, it's in our blood. We treat our guest like a king. We put ourselves in the second row. So, stay out of your negativity thought. We do this everyday, everytime, to every guests. IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF WE ARE EXPECTING SOMETHING IN RETURN FROM YOU. Please note this. And I inherit this in my blood. I can't count how many times my dad always fight to pay with my uncles or his friends, colleagues. I told you one more time : It's. In. Our. Blood.
Period !

Ah yes, and we care. About each other. And there's one more thing. Chinese people don't throw away things. We fix everything. And we keep everything. Even plastic bags.

Anyway, have you eaten yet ?

Monday, October 20, 2014


A very good friend of mine sent this to me. Well, it's true. Through the hard times, just breathe.... remember that I've been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared. But I've survived ! Thanks, buddy !

But I really can't count my blessing. It's just too much. I'm so blessed. Once my mom ever told me, "Don't put your hope to a man whom you love more. Give a chance to a man who loves you more. Because he will put your happiness in above of everything."
I ignored her. I walked with my own path. I entertained man whom didn't deserve. I went for romance because I wanted romance. And it ended up with huge disappointment. Can't describe how huge it was.

Romance will fade one day. And my mom was right. Once I had ignored a man who had claimed to me that he loved me a lot. It was the day I walked in other direction. And I was suffering because of my own ego. I was suffering because for compensation, I must worked too hard for someone I love, alone. He didn't even fight for me. He didn't even love me. All he's doing was sit back, relax, let me profess my love, provide everything to profess my love, and some words that I want to hear. I can say that men are expert of this. And I was suffering. Because  I want a commitment, monogamous relationship. But I had lowered my standard, I dealed with people who didn't deserve, I danced with an evil....

Steve Harvey ever noted in his book. A man who truly loves you will do 3 things : profess his love for you publicly, protect you by any means necessary, and provide for you, no matterif it's means there's nothing left for himself. He will not spend his money on trifling things and come to you with WHAT'S LEFT. He will not selfishly give you a little cut and take the rest for himself. If he's a real man, he will always sacrifice buying something for himself until he's fulfilled his responsibility to provide for you - which is showing his genuine love for his woman.

A man who is buying baubles and trinkets but refuses to give you what you really want -a true, monogamous, loving relationship, however.... is simply USING you. His sponsorship package may make you feel grateful to be with him, but really, YOU'RE BEING PLAYED. He's buying your kindness, your sex, your love, your affection, your devotion - a cool place to chill out and escape when he's facing problems with his wife or his girlfriend.

He reels you in by telling you he's with you because he can find peace in your arms. But you're not finding any peace.

Your job is to make clear what you want, and let him know that the true gift he can give - it's not material. It's true love. If he can't give that to you, then walk away. Do you understand what I'm saying here ? Walk. Away.

You've got to be willing to do this to get what you want. Don't be scared, if this man is giving you ONLY the material things, leave him and open yourself up to someone better - the guy who is willing to do what it takes to keep you.

I had realized that after I had passed all of this thunderstorm, I lowered my ego. There's no such thing called romance. All this lovey-dovey things were bullshits. Except from the one who had professed his love to me since 10 years ago. And he's loving me still. After all of this thunderstorm. Even I had nothing. Even I failed and lost everything. He's standing still to comfort me and raise me up.

Once again, my mom was right. I was the one who ignored this man. Who's standing there. Faithfully. Wait for me. Love me. Listen to me. And propose me with his open arms even I had hurt him by running in other direction. And he loved my son more than anything. And years are coming, but he's still there. His heart didn't change. Once he told me that I should value myself more, because I'm worth to fight for. He valued myself and put me in his highest priority. He didn't underestimate and never judge me. He loved me and he proved it.

Although I can provide myself, protect myself, but it's cute when he gave his everything to win my heart, fight for me, do everything to make me happy, give me a big share (or even all !) of his favourite food -because he knows I love to eat that food too, cook for me when I was totally sick, bring my son to school, and even after I had hurt him a lot, he's still faithfully waiting for me. I was there ! Same as him ! But for the other guy. The other guy whom didn't even deserve. Huge. HUGE. Disappointment.

Good man gets his reward now for his longterm awaiting.

Thank God, I'm beyond blessed.... Maybe I didn't get any romance, but I get peace. I didn't have any butterflies in my stomach with him, but I feel secure with him. I didn't need to worry for someone far away who will sweeten up words to hide the truth to comfort me. I didn't need to worry for a selfish guy who wants many women to satisfy him. I didn't need to worry for a sugar daddy for his justice to keep me among other of his women. WHY I SHOULD LOWER MY STANDARDS FOR MAN WHO DOESN'T DESERVE ?

Breathe. I'm not investing. I'm giving. And I will give it to someone who deserves.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

when she moved on

She moved on,
and I feel sorry for you
Because she thought you were the most amazing guy ever
If she could have had any guy in the world, she still would have picked you
And she trusted all of your past bullshits and promises
She's still taken a very good care and worried about you
She loved you in every part of her life
She even didn't expect for anything in return
She even didn't calculate whether you deserve or not
She did because she loved you
She didn't take your selfishness
She did because you're part of her life

Now you're just another part of her past,
a memory more faded every day,
pain was too much,

Well one day she will have the one who deserves her
and he will make her the happiest girl in the world.

So long, you !


Tuesday, October 14, 2014

my invisalign journey


To invisalign (yes, for myself !)
After 5+ months since I submitted my case !!!

Anne, my local representative always "kindly sent me reminder" for the last 2 months.... "Doctor, you should send your scan soon, or they will charge you for penalty fee."
Until she's getting very tired to send me this reminder. Because I didn't even can make it since I always put and submit all of my patients' cases in priority.

I submitted my case on May. And just few days ago, I sent my scan ! Wouahhhhh this one is absolutely my longest scan-submitting ever in my record.

My case itself is quite difficult. It's 9/10. Honestly, I should combine it with surgery to achieve a maximum result. But my colleague, an Invisalign expert from Singapore told me that he had done such kind of my case with Invisalign and it was very well treated. With maximum achievement result and a significant profile improvement. He encouraged me a lot to give it a try with my own case. So, why not then ?

I can't wait to start my invisalign soon !!!! Yaaaaaaaaayyyyyyy.... I will do couple of clincheck requests for extraction and non-extraction one. But more likely I will do 2 first bicuspids extraction. So, we will see !

Saturday, October 11, 2014

serial killer

Got a lot of kids coming to my clinic lately. Ok, kids are cute. They are lovely. Adorable. And so on.

But wait until they sit in your dental chair....

....well, some of them are still nice. Make up some words and play your poker face and everything will be fine. But some of them not. Not at all. They can turn you into a serial killer.

For me myself, I'm still OK with kids. While all of my colleagues in clinics, they avoid kids. See, kids ? Dentists are afraid of you ! Hahaha.... You must say WOW for that !!! 

I don't hate kids. Psychologically, I'm still can handle them well in my dental chair. A popular joke between dentists is, working with a cooperative kid is the best money-maker-ever (haha !!!). Everything are twice smaller, less treatment time, less material, less effort, everything are much more easier.... (if they can sit nicely and well behaved like adults do). The problem is if they are starting to become fussy and cranky. And everything will become 10 times harder. Be a serial killer will be your option, dentists.

Yesterday I got a kid with an early treatment concern from parents. This little client's behaviour was not really nice. Sometimes I forgot the word of PATIENCE if I have to work with very fussy patients. I started to raise my voice, and he became quiet. I don't care even he started to hate me or thought that I sound like his teacher at school. But with this kind of patients, you don't need to be TOO NICE. Too nice will kill yourself. Note this, dentists !

Well, back to Meijeer, my little client yesterday. He commented a lot that he didn't want to get an early treatment for his crowding teeth. He couldn't stop blabbering why his mom was taking him to this scary-auntie-dentist, and so on and so on. Hahahaha.... actually he looked cute when he was complaining like that. I almost rolled-out laughing while he's trying to negotiate with me.

Meijeer : "I don't want braces. I will not wear it !"
Me : "Well, I will put it in your mouth and unfortunately you can't take it off, dear."
Meijeer : "I will take it off !!!"
Me : "We will see if you can take it off..."
Meijeer : "I will ask my sister to take it off."
Me : "Oh, that's so lovely. Let me know if she can take it off for you."
Meijeer : "I hate you doctor !"
Me : "Thanks. You're the 100th kid who hate me. And I will give you a nice gift. A brand new wire."
Meijeer : "Aaaaaaa..... I hate you, I hate you. I will brush my teeth everyday so the braces will fall off."
Me : "Well, I love that. Brush your teeth everyday. But, unfortunately.... it won't make your braces fall off"
Meijeer : "Doctor, if I say that I love you... will you take off my braces ?"
Me : "Yes I will. After everything's straight, I will take it off."
Meijeer : "I love you doctor. Can you take it off now ?"
Me : "No, sorry. But I love you too Meijeer."
Meijeer : "Aaaaaaaaa..... You're a serial killer ! I hate my mom too."
Me : "I am. But I will make your teeth straight. And one day you will say thank you to your mom, because during your teenager age, you will become very handsome with your straight teeth and all of girls will like you !"

And he's stop complaining.

And anyway, he's still 8 yrs old. See how scary  adorable  lovely  well, I don't even can find any match words to describe him. Well, kids....

Monday, October 06, 2014

fight for this busy week

I love reading books since I was teenager. This hobby is continuing until now. Unfortunately, I don't like to read e-books. It doesn't feel like reading books for me. And weird thing is, I love reading journals or dental articles in soft copy version. While for novels or others, I prefer them on hard copies. Maybe you will wonder, WHAT ARE THE DIFFERENCES ?
Well, that's why I'm telling you that it's weird, haha....

Anyway.... good news for this new week is, finally I can beat up all of the viruses. My immune system's is upside down within last week, and I ate a lot of fruit to boost it. I can't be sick. First, I hate being hospitalized. And second, I can't imagine that my job will pile up if I'm sick, I get more upcoming lectures, my patients, also field trip plan with my dental assistants and their family (will bring all of them to Bali for holiday this month !!!). So, yeah, I can't be sick.

Will fight for this busy week ! Another new dental units installment, a new place for living, another business plan to do. All hopefully will be checked by the end of the month. Jia you !

Monday, September 29, 2014

me. today.

Never realized that playing golf was FUN !!!!
Yesterday I was playing with Seb. He was a very good golfer since he played a lot when he was working in Batam. He asked me to play in driving range because I was totally newbie and I could borrow his golf sticks. My hands were cramped after. But it was so much fun. We got sushi afterwards. Thanks for making my day, buddy ! He was always be there during my bad bad days.
And still, he never allow me to drive ! He's so afraid that I will die on car-crashed since last time I crashed a goat. Well.... few days ago.

Oh yeah, there are the goats !

I'm preparing lecture for October 2 (well, I'm not that kind of last-minute-person. I can't believe if you can make a good slides of presentation on D day - 1 or even D day - hours. Sorry to say !), approving and modifying all invisalign patients, and I listen to QUELQUES NOTES POUR ANNA a lot lately !!!

This song reminds me to someone who's inspiring me a lot to be stronger to face this life. Well, I know a lot of good men in my life. My parents, my best buddies, that's why I trust men a lot and thought that all of them were nice. Never realized that some of them were totally a**holes. I always care and never hate. But this time, deep wound makes me no longer care and hate some of them. Sorry guys !

Look what I had got from my dear maman and papa from France. They are Seb's parents. And they love to write me A LOT !!!

Sorry, not yet rotate it. French is so difficult to learn. Aaaaaaaa..... See the postcard. Paris !!!! Will go next year. With my dear baby !!!!

This was taken on November 2013 for a charity. Now, he's no longer a baby anymore !

But of course, he will always be my baby. My sweetheart. My everything~~ whatever happens, he is the one who will never break my heart nor disappoint me.
I plan to take another photoshoot with him because I wanna see him grow bigger and bigger.

I was sick since this morning. Since I had nothing to do and the fever had not gone yet, I decided to write a post in this blog. Don't worry patients, I will still come to clinic this afternoon. Jia you for me !!

Friday, September 26, 2014

love yourself, respect yourself

Today I ate a lot of fruit, guava juice, got my massage treatment (and facial too !), had lunch all by myself, and went to clinic afterwards. I deserve this after a very hard(work) week. And next month will have several trips for lectures and courses. Aaaaaaaaaa.....
Can't wait for my fried noodle tonight after work !!!

I should treat myself with good books again (excuses, excuses, haha....)

I will take D to have a date tomorrow after clinic meeting. He is my little sweetheart!! And Seb called me this afternoon for playing golf next Sunday. I am blessed. Thank God for this wonderful life-family-friends You have given to me. Of course I won't sacrifice what I have right now for some stupid a**holes out there, sorry to say.... But for me, no place for playboys.
Dear men, if you think that you can buy someone's life -or someone's faith -or someone's respect with your popularity, your money, or your look, or your words, then you will become the biggest a**hole ever !

Respect comes by your attitude, dear.
Dear women, never ever give in your life to a man, and depend your life into him. Let him respect you, not treat you as a slave. Be his whore in bed, be his partner in good and bad times. Get his respect. 

And if he cheated you after all of this, leave him ! He doesn't deserve you. Or your love. Or your sacrifice. Sorry to say... But men who come only in good times, are not a man. At all. 
My heart goes to all ladies out there who becomes the victims of infidelity. Love yourself, and the world will love you back ~~

PS : I have changed my masks 6x until this afternoon and drink 1.5 litres water already. Way to go, clean and healthy face !

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

dentist - behind the art work

Meet my patient, Engelbert. This awesome progress I have done within 3 months. I will post another cases -whether they're braces or invisalign (there are more and more invisaligns in my office. This amount are really awesome - since people want to treat their teeth in smart and beautiful way).

Let's take a look what we have intra-orally....

Before treatment and progress treatment. I took lower first bicuspids. And the result is really amazing. This one, I can say, a very nice case for treat. Seems very difficult, but in end, you will notice, in good hands, it will not difficult at all. Yes, the interdigitation part will be very difficult. But at least, patient will 'feel' your result in a very short time. Should I say wow for that ??

This art-work, is the only reason why I become a dentist. I hate surgery. I love artsy works. Making something ugly into nice one is definitely my favourite.

Lately, I use this colourflow composite a lot. I love the colour, actually. But most of all, it has no porosity like others.

This class I cavity in buccal side, I make a special heart-shape for my little patient, Kenneth. And he loves it !

He asked me to put another filling with colour composite. So I put this one in his occlusal surface. Nice colour, isn't it ?

Be a dentist, be a passionate one, and you can change a world. It's true ! To see every smiles after they walk in your office - what can be more wonderful than that ? 

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

be better - not bitter

Welcome new life ! New passport ! New home soon ! New business soon !!!
And I'm so grateful, that finally I realized that I can put my dream, I can wish, but if it's not the right time - not the right moment, no matter how hard I pursue, stillllllllll.... it's not the right time.

Well, anyway...
Right now I do a lot of changes in my life. I go to bed earlier. I do meditation. I drink water 2 litres a day. I eat on time. I change my mask at clinic 5-10 times a day. And I don't keep myself work too hard. I do only orthodontic treatment, braces-invisalign, and some clients who are really-really fanatic with my treatment (no choice !).

Here are some quick updates behind my dental chair :))

I am really-really need invisalign treatment soon ! And as I'm a provider, I can get a very special price for this treatment. Yay me !!

I got this cute Oscar-replica when I was visiting Hollywood. Was an amazing trip. Definitely will go back !!!

My case today. Class II in disto-occlusal. Definitely not my favourite (I prefer the mesio-occlusal one). I have to bend my back, look everything from mirror-reflection, and if the patient is a big tall guy, I will definitely give up. Haha !

Finish with the preparation. I make a very long bevel in the surface.

This one is the most fantastic one. I put a yellow flowable composite from Rx. Very strong, yet a I can get a good esthetic result. I use this flowable colour composite many-many times. This one is definitely recommended !
And as a final touch, I try the Rx composite mixed with 3M composite. Still, 3M is my favourite. But the result is not that bad. And since this one is the 1/4 occlusal cavity with total loss of distal surface, I think it's a wise choice to put a very hard composite like Rx. 

Thanks my dear tools and equipments for this cavity filling. I heart all of you !!

I re-decorate my desk. Put some fresh ambience in my desk. I love them !

Need to working on slides for next lecture ! Again I will fly to Jakarta for this lecture. Definitely can't wait for that !!

Yes, I definitely need invisalign treatment soon.

I won't be sad for some stupid guys out there. Do you believe that what doesn't kill you will make you awesome instead ?
Yes, I'm one of them.

Surround yourself with positive people. And you will get the positive energy as well. Be better, not bitter. And all happiness will come to you. Welcome new life ! With or without you, I will be happy with myself (and D, my little sweetheart !!). As my bestfriend Seb ever told me : DON'T CARE !
And don't trust men !!! Some of them will say bullsh*t things about love. You don't want to get suffer, do you ? Come on, blue sky with beautiful flowers are out there. Put your smile and show to the world that you will get stronger than ever ! There will come a day, when a loving man who deserve your love and care will come.

And they won't take you for granted.

Yellow frangipani. These flowers smell so awesome ! Maybe even better than Sheer Beauty from Calvin Klein. Hahaha ! Why yellow frangipani ? Well.... I love yellow. It brings me spirit and new energy. Will plant them in my new house ! With the sunflowers of course !!!!

Well.... last but not least, forget it if you wanna see my tears. Because it won't be happen, my dear. Cry will cause wrinkles. And still, I don't trust men :)