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Thursday, August 28, 2014

6 hours in jakarta

Quick late post from my last Jakarta visit. I came to Jakarta for 6 hours (amazing !) for doing a patient that will go to London, so she can't visit my office in Surabaya. No choice, I come for her to Jakarta. Special thanks for my beloved colleague Dr. Ade for her kindness lending me her dental office !!!

 Meet again with Dr. Ade !!! Her new office is so cozy ! Congrats doc on your new clinic !!

I bring my assistant to come along with me. I am so happy since this is her very first flight in her life. And she can't stop telling me how amazing the journey was. Glad that you enjoy the trip with me :* Next trip will be Bali ! All of us !!! Dentists + assistants + their families. We will have a great time together !

Got my new hair done ! I'm back with my long straight hair. Some told that I looked like a japanese doll with this :)

Saturday, August 23, 2014

i will always love you (no matter what happens) (without terms and conditions) (dot)

One of my patient walked in my office this afternoon. Let’s called him, Mr. Ted. He was a father of 3. His first daughter, Manda, I treated her with invisalign since a year ago. And his second one, Andrew, I had just begun with his treatment last month. And later on, the little one will go for the same treatment.
But this afternoon is quite special. It’s not only him who come (as always) with his 2 kids for their treatments. This afternoon he came with his wife. A woman who looked 10 years older than her age, and she sat in her wheelchair.

Mr. Ted, nicely, and patiently, he held his wife’s hand. And he carried her, moved her to my dental chair. And told me : “Doc, let see if there’re some holes in her upper left teeth. I feel like yesterday she can’t eat better.”

It’s CARE. In good, and in bad times. Yes, I can say that it’s care.

Logically and rationally thinking, people will always seek for someone’s better. They want to meet someone who matches their criterias. They want someone to understand them, without they have to put efforts to love them back. It’s so called…. You love me, it’s your business. If you want me to love you, respect my rules.

But this afternoon I saw something totally different. I didn’t dare to ask him : “What do you find from this lady ?” I admit that Mr. Ted is totally attractive. Money is not a big deal for him. He can get any women he wants to if he wants to. But again, logically and rationally way of thinking will STOP working when it meets…. LOVE.

He told me something SUPER when I’m about doing his wife’s teeth. “Please be careful doctor. I trust you. She is the woman I love the most in this world.” Can you imagine ? Rationally thinking, she’s not attractive, she’s a trouble for him since she got stroke few years ago, and she is so dependent on him since she can’t walk and eat and talk. Logically thinking again, what does she can offer to him to all of his sacrifices ? Nothing. And Mr. Ted is just so happy with that. He told me, she had given me 3 beautiful kids. I can’t ask for more.

Low expectation ?

I don’t think so.
Indeed, I respect him a lot. I respect a man like him a lot. The one that can value the meaning of love in a different perspective.

His wife, as she also love him so much, told him not to bug himself by spending all of his time taking care of her. Better if he called a nurse or asked a nanny so he will have more time for himself. But he stayed. He moved his work at home so he can take better care to his wife. Love can do many amazing things. Yes it’s true. Love can move a mountain. They love each other. What can be better than that ? 2 different people -they can accept each other's conditions with a lot of difficulties. I raise my hat for them. High salute !

I ever ask him, is he happy with his life. And he told me, “Couldn’t be better. I love even every inches of imperfection that come into my life.”

Love. Has. No. Limits.

Love. Doesn’t. Make. Excuse.

Love. Doesn’t. Need. Simulations.

Is it ?

I believe there are some types of love. A blinded love, like all of that above. It works. Very well. If both are blinded. Means, whatever happened, they will stay in love. No terms and conditions.

Another different kind of love.... a realistic love with terms and conditions. "I love you but...." This kind of love is a kind of  which everything must be detailed and analyzed and being simulated. Both of sides must be open mind to talk and discuss in details, what are their expectations, and can they meet this expectation ?

Most people told that I'm a realist one. Demanding. Needy.
Guess.... it's not.

I'm blinded. Yes. When I fall in love, I do sacrifice without expect anything in return. I don't know why, but this is what I do. Sounds stupid. Sounds unrealistic. But this is me when I fall in love. I become dumb. My brain is stop analyzing. I don't question anything. I accept. Dot.

I used to be a very stubborn one. And since I turned my world upside down into a very very high-tolerate one, me myself even feel so amazed with this change that I think will never be happen in my entire life. What's the answer ? Love.
No harm.
No speculations.

Now I know, love is not bullshit. Love does exist. And even more than JUST a physical attraction.

Ah, love...

Who believes that love will go after some time ? Yes, a realist one.
It will never go for blinded one.

A real lesson for blinded love ? A mother's love. No matter how hurt their kids harm them, they will still love them no matter what, no terms, no conditions. That's why woman, especially a mom, they are more to tolerate and sacrifice WHICH is unlogically accepted by realists. They will keep questioning themselves, IS THIS WOMAN FOR REAL ? A REAL ?

Once I taste love, I become unrationally unrational. Haha ! And this i-will-always-love-you-no-matter-what-happens-without-terms-and-conditions does exist. At least, it happens to Mr. Ted. And to me. Dot


Tuesday, August 19, 2014

why it's cool to become a dentist

A lot of patients or almost all patients are wondering :

"Doc, what makes you wanna be a dentist ?"

Well... When I was a teenager, I didn't even think to become a dentist. My uncle was a dentist, and I had a very rare check-up. I had no decays at all. And in my entire life, I only sit 3 or 4 times in dental chair AS A PATIENT ! Rest of it, I sit in the dental stool, as a dentist.

So that question was a brilliant question. I didn't have any interests of working with very strict office hour 8 to 5, 5 days a week. OMG, it's not me !! Or even work in front of screen. I rarely touch my laptop or cellphones if not needed. And also, I have a very big passion into teeth art. I can spend hours, days, just to carve something small, nice, creative, and I like it !

So, if you consider to become a dentist, here I will share some GREAT news about being a dentist...

1. Have you ever realized that as a human, we have 32 teeth which if 1 is not working properly, we can also feel it hurt, painful, can't eat, or even can't sleep properly etc. And there you are comes from heaven ..... (drumrollllllll) THE DENTIST !!! Who come and save the world fix the pain.

2. We can work very cool behind our mask and gloves, holding our drill and all of frankestein's tools  that makes us looked TOTALLY COOL !!! I told you, I work with a very small area every day (you can imagine how big even the biggest mouth of human ever !), I also work with a very small part every day (teeth !!!), and sometimes even smaller (root canals !!!). If you see my equipments for work, the drills, the pliers, those stuffs ARE REALLY-REALLY COOL !!! Definitely it will be more exciting rather than sitting behind the desk with piles of paperworks ;)

3. And you have a profession (it's not job, it's profession !) which lotsa people sometimes scared of. They called this DENTOPHOBIA. And I believe, they will see that this profession is a really serious matter.

4. You can tell lies to polices, to everybody, but not to dentists. They are very good at analyzing. Maybe the best. Once you started to lie, with their magic instinct and anamnesa ability, you will get busted easily, ha !

5. Do you know that this profession, if you're really passionate into it, you can give the most expensive service ever ? So you can save most of your savings from dental treatment, because you can do it yourself !  (Or you can ask your colleagues to do it for free or at least, not too expensive for you, because you know the actual price ! hahaha...)

6. Wouldn't it be nice if you can tell to your friends : "Do you know who is behind Tom Cruise's smile ? It's me." Wow, sounds cool !

7. And guys !! You can easily attract girlfriends once you have a title 'dentist'. Trust me, a lot of not-a-dentist-or-doctor females out there are dreaming for having a dentist or doctor as their partners or their son in laws materials. 

8. And for girls !! A lot of people also demand a wife or daughter in law who is a dentist. Trust me, that female dentists look sexier with their mask, gloves, dentist coat, and their updo hair. Even sexier than bikini, guys ! Alert alert alert :)

9. When you mention 'dentist' as your profession, you will get 'that look' ! "Oh, you are a dentist ? I have a problem with my teeth...." (and there the conversations will continue...)

10.  You can attract your crush with free dental consultation ;) or even free whitening session. Many girls want that !

11. Someone break your heart ? You have your tools !! Drills, pliers, they can do their job nicely for someone who has made your heart suffer, hahaha...
PS : Don't forget to do it BRUTALLY

12. Maybe your kids will be the coolest kids ever since they're not afraid of dentists !

13. Nobody will put you down in medical field. Because you are also a doctor. You get the knowledges as well.

14. People can steal your money, but they can't steal your 'MAGIC HANDS TO HEAL PEOPLE'

15. You don't depend on others. You can work with your own knowledges and abilities. I can say, you can even get money from your own talent.

16. You will have an automatic ability to analyze small stuffs. Such as.... your first impression into people will be their TEETH. And maybe even you don't remember their names, but you will remember their teeth. See how amazing is that !

17. You will get so many interesting questions such as "Is chocolate safe for me ?" or "If I eat candy, will it destroy my teeth ?" or "What kind of toothpaste and toothbrush you will recommend ?" or even silliest question such as "Can you just pull out all of my teeth and replace them with dentures so I don't need to brush them again ?"

18. You can straighten someone's crooked teeth. Even make them get whiter. And even you can replace missing teeth with implants or dentures. What can be cooler than that ?

Thursday, August 14, 2014

woman, when all things can be so complicated

I got a lot of interesting conversation-sessions with an amAZing person lately. It's about LIFE and LOVE.

Interesting topics, I must admit.

I have changed my mindset about life and love, lately. I used to think, that happiness comes from PEOPLE AROUND ME. Without realizing, that it's me myself who responsible for my own happiness. It doesn't depend on people, people !

I will share my opinion from my point of view. Well, this will be a very long posting as I love to write a lot !

I was born in a very traditional chinese family. So more or less, their mindset influenced me a lot. And their definition of HAPPINESS is not very simple. Happiness is making other people happy, and expecting to get back happiness from them. This is a typical chinese way of thinking. By 'sacrificing' our happiness to others, it's our happiness. Without realizing, this way of thinking can be a big boomerang for ourselves.
We do everything for their happiness, and we expect them to make us happy -because we have made them happy. And if they don't make us happy, we will end up suffering and very very sad.

As a woman who always complicates everything in her mind, I was there ! Some people were expecting lots from people they love. Let's said, if you love and care about them, you need to call or text them very often.
1. just to make sure that they are safe
2. just to hear their voice
3. just to make sure they will think of you
So your expectation will become.... they will do the same thing to you. Or even more.

Ok, I admit.... I was there. And I was end up very sad and suffer when I din't get the feedback as I had expected. And it's no point if I try hard to CHANGE them. Because I will end up more sad and suffer. When you try to change someone, admit it that you also put some expectations. Right ?

So, I try to change my mindset. I don't low my expectation. But I put NO expectations. AT ALL. I care, I give my attentions, I make time for them, I try to make them happy, without any expectations of get all the feedbacks. And I make sure that I'm doing all of this HAPPILY.
And yes, I feel happier. Even more.

I can say, if you don't expect any birthday gift, you won't feel sad if in the end you got nothing. And you will feel VERY SPECIAL when you get it. But if you have expected this this this, or that that that in advance ! -the higher your expectation is, whatever others do for you, you will never be happy. You will always complaint. Because you have some expectations from them.

With too many expectations, women can complicate simple stuffs. Between man and woman's relationship, 1 thing you should have to make the relationship work : COMPROMISE.

I can give you an example about compromise-things. Such as Albert and Ivy.
Albert : "Ok honey, I'm still busy. Later I will call you."
1 hour, 2 hours, 3 hours no phone call from Albert, so Ivy called.
Ivy : "I believe that you don't love me anymore because you don't call me."
Albert : "Please understand that I'm very busy.... And you can just call me anytime."
Ivy : "Yes but you know, I was waiting for your call."

it will be easier and less complicated if...
Albert : "Ok honey, I'm still busy. Later I will call you."
1 hour, 2 hours, 3 hours no phone call from Albert, so Ivy called.
Ivy : "Ok baby, just wanna let you know, I love you."
Albert : "I love you too."

Topic finished. No more arguments. Love is about compromising everything. Just make sure that you can do it, then do it. If one or two sides keep stubborn, I told you.... it will not work.

I can say that compromise is not difficult if you care and love them. Because you're not feel being pushed to do it. EXCEPT..... this compromise-things are beyond your ability.

Women always feel more insecure than men. Even small stuff such as he called them by their names, and not calling them 'sweetie or babe' as usual, it can raise their insecurity. Slow down, women. Less your expectation a bit. Just relax and make this relationship works.

to be continued

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

why you should date a dentist

This post was a repost from my 2009 posting

i was browsing then suddenly I found this article. Read it, it's fun ! *it's officially written by : ehsanbd@live.com and commented by me :)*

10 reasons why you should date a DENTIST :
1. Good Oral Hygiene, nice feelings in kissing
*haha, it might be!!!*

2. They can give you the gift of "missing them" because they are always at work
*usually, if they're really into 'it-dentistry-things', most of their brain part will filled with work, work, and work. They will put the-relationship-matters aside and put the dental-clinic-matters in their top list. That's as far as I know...*

3. They can give you a free dental consultation
*definitely yes. So, wanna date a dentist ? Additional information : If you're a dentist, and your date (also) a dentist, you will have an easier consultation, such as : "Honey, please check for my upper-right molar teeth. I think between the first and second molar, there're cavities." Dating a dentist is kind of, hmmm... having a personal dentist ? Hahaha.*

4.You save yourself the embarrassment of going to a dentist with a foul smelling in ur mouth
*haha, it can be...*

5. They are smart
*definitely !*

6. They know their partners well (know what works and where)
*maybe because we're trained to 'get-into-the-patient' by making anamnesis all the time. Hahaha, so sad but it's true. They are good at analyzing people ! Really !*

7. They are party people in the weekend
*not really like this, im not a party woman, but even dentists are human. And only in weekends they can close their clinic to have a fun.*

8. Free scaling ! no need 2 brush ur teeth
*for the free scaling, yes I think so. But no need 2 brush ur teeth ? Eeeeewww....*

9. They are well trained to listen.
*beside the speaking-ability that we have, yes we are*

10. They know how you feel, or at least pretend to!!
*at least for me, whenever I do something in patient's mouth, I will imagine that I am the patient. Most of really-into-it-dentists do that I think...*

Oh, can I add one more ?
I think you should date a dentist, because they have cute-dentists-uniform. Haha, don't take it seriously~~