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Saturday, August 23, 2014

i will always love you (no matter what happens) (without terms and conditions) (dot)

One of my patient walked in my office this afternoon. Let’s called him, Mr. Ted. He was a father of 3. His first daughter, Manda, I treated her with invisalign since a year ago. And his second one, Andrew, I had just begun with his treatment last month. And later on, the little one will go for the same treatment.
But this afternoon is quite special. It’s not only him who come (as always) with his 2 kids for their treatments. This afternoon he came with his wife. A woman who looked 10 years older than her age, and she sat in her wheelchair.

Mr. Ted, nicely, and patiently, he held his wife’s hand. And he carried her, moved her to my dental chair. And told me : “Doc, let see if there’re some holes in her upper left teeth. I feel like yesterday she can’t eat better.”

It’s CARE. In good, and in bad times. Yes, I can say that it’s care.

Logically and rationally thinking, people will always seek for someone’s better. They want to meet someone who matches their criterias. They want someone to understand them, without they have to put efforts to love them back. It’s so called…. You love me, it’s your business. If you want me to love you, respect my rules.

But this afternoon I saw something totally different. I didn’t dare to ask him : “What do you find from this lady ?” I admit that Mr. Ted is totally attractive. Money is not a big deal for him. He can get any women he wants to if he wants to. But again, logically and rationally way of thinking will STOP working when it meets…. LOVE.

He told me something SUPER when I’m about doing his wife’s teeth. “Please be careful doctor. I trust you. She is the woman I love the most in this world.” Can you imagine ? Rationally thinking, she’s not attractive, she’s a trouble for him since she got stroke few years ago, and she is so dependent on him since she can’t walk and eat and talk. Logically thinking again, what does she can offer to him to all of his sacrifices ? Nothing. And Mr. Ted is just so happy with that. He told me, she had given me 3 beautiful kids. I can’t ask for more.

Low expectation ?

I don’t think so.
Indeed, I respect him a lot. I respect a man like him a lot. The one that can value the meaning of love in a different perspective.

His wife, as she also love him so much, told him not to bug himself by spending all of his time taking care of her. Better if he called a nurse or asked a nanny so he will have more time for himself. But he stayed. He moved his work at home so he can take better care to his wife. Love can do many amazing things. Yes it’s true. Love can move a mountain. They love each other. What can be better than that ? 2 different people -they can accept each other's conditions with a lot of difficulties. I raise my hat for them. High salute !

I ever ask him, is he happy with his life. And he told me, “Couldn’t be better. I love even every inches of imperfection that come into my life.”

Love. Has. No. Limits.

Love. Doesn’t. Make. Excuse.

Love. Doesn’t. Need. Simulations.

Is it ?

I believe there are some types of love. A blinded love, like all of that above. It works. Very well. If both are blinded. Means, whatever happened, they will stay in love. No terms and conditions.

Another different kind of love.... a realistic love with terms and conditions. "I love you but...." This kind of love is a kind of  which everything must be detailed and analyzed and being simulated. Both of sides must be open mind to talk and discuss in details, what are their expectations, and can they meet this expectation ?

Most people told that I'm a realist one. Demanding. Needy.
Guess.... it's not.

I'm blinded. Yes. When I fall in love, I do sacrifice without expect anything in return. I don't know why, but this is what I do. Sounds stupid. Sounds unrealistic. But this is me when I fall in love. I become dumb. My brain is stop analyzing. I don't question anything. I accept. Dot.

I used to be a very stubborn one. And since I turned my world upside down into a very very high-tolerate one, me myself even feel so amazed with this change that I think will never be happen in my entire life. What's the answer ? Love.
Tolerate.
Kind.
Patience.
No harm.
No speculations.
Acceptance.

Now I know, love is not bullshit. Love does exist. And even more than JUST a physical attraction.

Ah, love...

Who believes that love will go after some time ? Yes, a realist one.
It will never go for blinded one.

A real lesson for blinded love ? A mother's love. No matter how hurt their kids harm them, they will still love them no matter what, no terms, no conditions. That's why woman, especially a mom, they are more to tolerate and sacrifice WHICH is unlogically accepted by realists. They will keep questioning themselves, IS THIS WOMAN FOR REAL ? A REAL ?

Once I taste love, I become unrationally unrational. Haha ! And this i-will-always-love-you-no-matter-what-happens-without-terms-and-conditions does exist. At least, it happens to Mr. Ted. And to me. Dot

:)

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