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Wednesday, April 06, 2016

be kind

I remember clearly, when I was a kid, on Sundays my dad took me for a ride with his motorbike (even til today, he always insists to ride his motorbike everywhere). We always stop to buy a newspaper from a very old grandpa under the traffic light. He stopped by and chit-chat with him as if he had known him for years. And before we left, he bought a newspaper from him, gave him a little tip, and a wrapped rice for lunch.

Since I was young, I learnt to always give. To always care to people. To love with no expectation. To be calm when I feel rejected. Read this : Since I was very young.

Welcome to my world !

Anyway I can guarantee that her teeth are so real !

A lot of people came to our house and asked my dad to help them with anything. Anything - and he was willing to help if he could give his hands to help ! Sometimes I hate him for this, because he cared a lot about others and never put himself as a priority. And he did all of this, not to impress people. He did all of this for his own satisfaction and pleasure.

My dad always -even he always tells me the same everytime we meet- tells me : "My daughter, if you treat everybody with love, and no any expectation, you will feel peace."
Yes dad, indeed. But don't forget to love yourself too.

Those who don't know me very well, will think that I'm an attention seeker. Because I always have a huge urge to help people. Indeed, I care. I care a lot. Sometimes too much and I can't help it - it's in my blood. And I won't give myself a credit in front of people. Instead, I will buy myself my own Starbucks caramel frappe everytime I feel good because I'm doing good.
Sometimes, people start to use me. I know that. I just let them -as long as it's not bothering me.
Some bitter people are thinking that I'm buying their affections. I will just leave them with big smile inside my heart and keep doing what I'm happily doing. If I want to give, I will give. If I want to help, I will help. I don't ask for anything in return.

I seek a help from a caregiver since my assistants and my best friends (ALL OF THEM !) told me that I'm too kind to people.
Note and underline this : I'm not TOO kind. I just try my best to help -if I can help them.
Just as my dad's words : "If you can help, you won't lose anything by helping people. It will enrich your soul and make more patience inside you." 

Do I hate ?
I do - but I am not a bitter one. I know how to control myself. Even sometimes I can feel needed to let out my anger, I won't shout. I won't do anything that I know it can hurt people. I will just do meditation, yoga, gym, kill people  or keep silent.

Or sometimes - I really need to practice my kung fu. Or doing serial extractions without anesthetic.
So, don't wake up the devil inside me. I'm not as nice as you think.

Do you know that you can't take back words ?
So be careful with your own mouth. Once you shout or let out something hurtful, no any turn back. It will go deep to someone's heart. It might be forgiven, but not forgotten. Your tongue can be as sharp as double-edged sword !  

Ok seriously.....
I don't buy people's affection nor any validation. I just feel good whenever I'm doing good to people.
That's for my own satisfaction.

And I don't care with others' opinion about that. Blame the DNA. I inherit it from my dad. Well done, thanks daddy !

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